I think we can all agree that 2020 was the year that no one wanted. From bushfires, a global recession, COVID-19 and more, there wasn’t a single moment that didn’t feel apocalyptic. As a challenging year draws to a close, here are the invaluable 2020 lessons that only a crisis could have taught me.
Prioritise Peace of Mind
Psychology suggests that hopelessness fuelled by uncertainty is the root of mental distress. And well, there’s nothing quite like a raging pandemic to kick our collective anxiety into overdrive.
Like many others, my mental health suffered as the pandemic wore on. Job security, whether I had enough toilet paper at home or the reliability of face masks ranked high on my stress list for 2020.
I wrongly assumed like most people that the pandemic would be over by the end of the year. So I spent the first half of the year optimistically baking, exercising and just keeping in my own lane. It become apparent very quickly that things were not going back to normal any time soon.
My burnout came swift as projects got cancelled and opportunities dried up in a snap. As a Type A who loves to be busy, I took this very personally.
2020 forced me to sit down and examine my propensity to go full throttle until I exhausted myself completely. I finally admitted to having a serious problem with just sitting back and smelling the roses or just enjoying the fruits of my own labour.
It took several months of consciously talking myself up and out of my emotions did I realise that I needed to be kinder and gentler to myself. I finish the year with a new perspective and having learnt how to set boundaries, purposely build in time for fun and not get hung up on disappointments.
Manage your expectations while maintaining your standards
Part of working on my mental health was learning how to give up control and live with uncertainty. As a planner who loves a good strategy, 2020 demonstrated that I needed to be flexible with my expectations.
There have been countless incidents where a breakthrough or opportunity was within reach, just for things to fall through at the last minute due to factors beyond everyone’s control. And that was a great source of stress for me. It aggravated me even more when I saw others thriving in a pandemic with their side hustles. When that happened, it wasn’t hard to feel like I wasn’t working hard enough to turn 2020 into an opportunity.
Overrall, I was being incredibly harsh on myself.
I don’t know if I’m completely there but 2020 has shown me that it’s important to not allow expectations hold you hostage. There’s peace to be found in having done your best in these unpredictable circumstances. You may not have made it to where you wanted to this year but that’s just your Expectations talking.
In year that’s just about ripped the world to shreds, I’ve learnt that it’s more important to focus on whether I’ve met my own personal Standards. COVID-19 shouldn’t have dropped your standards – whether they be being loving, thoughtful, professional or whatever value you hold dear. If you managed to uphold those quality levels for yourself, then that’s good enough and it’s time to celebrate a year survived.
Take every opportunity to be with your family
I spent my last Christmas/New Year holidays in New York and there have been one too many moments in 2020 when I have regretted this decision.
My family is split between Sydney and Hong Kong, and the holiday season is the perfect time for everyone to get together in Hong Kong for Christmas and New Year. For one too many reasons, I thought it’d be fun to take a Leave of Absence from the usual and head to New York instead.
With everything that’s happening, I don’t actually know when I’ll be able to see my family in Hong Kong.
The older I get, the more attached I am to my family. Whether it’s because we’re always physically distanced or I’ve become ever-so aware that time is limited for everyone, it’s a huge regret of mine to have not seen them before COVID-19 happened. 2020 has made me realise that I shouldn’t take anything for granted, especially my family.
Love Thy Neighbour
I spent the past few years remote working and didn’t have many ties to my local community because I was often overseas. Even when I was home, I spent most of my time outside my area because I always thought that, that was where all the excitement was. Being physically grounded gave me a fantastic chance to get to know the people who lived around me.
What I found was that, despite faces hidden behind masks, everyone tried hard to be extra helpful and friendly to each other. I saw people sharing what was already in their grocery cart with others and people stopping strangers to ask how they were going. I started recognising more people in my area and getting invested in their lives, as they did mine. Slowly, I realised that there were merits to living in a small community where people checked in on you and cared about your day to day as if you were an extension of their family.
If not for 2020, I would have continued travelling and missed the pleasure of knowing the countless fun and loving characters around me that are my neighbours.
Reconnecting with old friends needs to become a thing
I’m the first to admit that my mid-20s was about rapidly shedding friendships and relationships that didn’t serve me. I drifted apart from former BFFs and intentionally cut out others that had a negative impact on my life.
But in the spirit of looking out for everyone and anyone in 2020, the pandemic turned out to be the perfect bridge for rekindling these old friendships. It’s interesting when you realise how much we’ve all matured but also how easy it was to pick up right where we left off, ugly friendship break ups and all.
There’s a fine line between being frugal and a scrooge
2020 was the year that I learnt how to manage my finances unapologetically. From taking an accounting course, taking charge of my investments and seeking out financial mentors, this was the year that pushed me to really get an understanding for how to advance my financial goals.
Before the pandemic, I was already a big saver. But with screaming headlines about a recession and soaring unemployment rates, 2020 was the year that I was even more mindful of where I was spending my cash. Most importantly, I learnt how to shamelessly ask for a better deal, time my shops and get the most out of my private health insurance.
I also started tracking my expenses. This was a highly useful exercise at first. However, the problem with tracking every dollar is that I naturally become overly pedantic about where my money was going. I spent a month not buying takeaway coffee and saved a pretty buck but it made me miserable hell because that was often my only reason to leave the house for the day. I was essentially nickel and diming without a real financial need to.
Sure, seeing more money in the bank at the end of the month made me happy but but I learnt that I needed to be more flexible when I noticed I turned into an ugly scrooge.
So do I still get takeaway coffees? I do! But I have a set number of takeaway coffees that I can buy per week. I strive to stick to my limit but I don’t stress about it if I go over. It might mean I get one less coffee next week or the week after. And that’s okay – it’s all about peace of mind.